There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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