he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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