im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
