I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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