I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
