can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
