I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
