Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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