I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
