Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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