i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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