Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
