You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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