Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
