I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
