How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
