I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
