I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
