Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
