I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize