so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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