your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
