Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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