girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
