My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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