I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize