Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
