Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Sext me about skeletons
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
