As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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