At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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