we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
