Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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