im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize