I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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