I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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