wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
