i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
