So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
