So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
