Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
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omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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