I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't deserve a penis
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
