I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We left an ass print on the piano.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
