so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
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So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize