i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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