Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
