I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
