You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
