Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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