is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
