So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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