I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
