Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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