My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
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is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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