I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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