And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
