i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
