You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
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