Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
