i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
send nudes
from the living room?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
