Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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