i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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