So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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