You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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